Heisenberg

This is not a Breaking Bad-adjacent post.

I've always loved science and I've also always been terrible at it. I started struggling with it in the seventh grade or so. I just could not for the life of me be bothered to pay attention to anything my teacher was saying. I was so inattentive that I legit studied the wrong part of my science book for a test. I studied, with my dad's patient help, about animal digestion. The test, it turned out, was about plant digestion and photosynthesis and that stuff. Oops. Sorry, Pop. By tenth grade chemistry, I was totally lost. I could not for the life of me wrap my head around the math and theory of something so abstract. I could run and record the results of experiments, but that science indicated by the results eluded me. I do, however, remember learning about the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I'm sure the definition has "Telephoned" to something that barely resembles what I originally heard, but I think it said that you can never simultaneously know both the speed and location of an electron in its shells. It's something like that, and also that the more precisely you know one, the less precisely you know the other. Basically that paying attention to something can change its physical state. I only mention this in the context of a blog about living with Tourette Syndrome because man, do my tics get worse the more I think about my Tourette's.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why. I mean I'd bet it's a fairly common phenomenon among other TS patients and I'd really love for someone to explain it to me or research it. I'll be having a good tic day and the thought will come to me unbidden: "Hey man, you're having a really good tic day!" And thusly openeth the flood gates. "Your face? Mine now. Arms? Mine. Oh, were you enjoying speaking clearly and not making little noises? Tough Tanookis, toots. Your means of expression belong to me!" Tourette's is totally Ursula the Sea Witch from Little Mermaid. It's a really uncanny thing and I'd love to hear from some of you regarding the relationship between your TS and how much you think about it. I know for me, my tics have been getting steadily worse for the last two years or so, and starting this blog has helped in some ways but not in others. I write these posts on Monday and Thursday nights, so I spend a lot of time those days thinking about what to write. I'd bet that those are my two worst tic days each week, barring some special event that has me ramped up on another day. I also wonder if I actually tic as much when I'm not paying attention to my tics as I do when I am paying attention to them. I'd love to find a way to track how many times a day I tic, but I can't think of a way to do it that wouldn't bring Heisenberg knocking. I've heard he does that sometimes and OH SNAP IT WAS A BREAKING BAD-ADJACENT POST THIS WHOLE TIME!!

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